All that worrying and stressing, all that fear and anxiety, all that insecurity and hurt…it was consuming me, and I knew it. I was so busy wallowing in that misery, finding ways to deepen it…like constantly pressing a bruise to make sure it still hurt…that I never even tried to unstick myself from all that muck. I knew I had to stop focusing on all the bad, which only added a layer of self-pity and victimization to my sad mental state.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Which way am I supposed to go from here?” Those thoughts plagued my days and nights. It was an endless cycle of self-doubt that paralyzed me, leaving me unable to make a move in any direction.
Four days ago, I modified those thoughts and discovered my direction….”I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Which way am I supposed to go from here? I give you my permission to help me see clearly.”
The great epiphany that inspired me to change my thoughts? Simply pulling an oracle card from Doreen Virtue’s Angel Therapy deck.
I typically do this every day…pull a card from either my Rider-Waite deck or my Angel Therapy deck in the morning before I leave for work. To be honest, the oracle cards work much better for me in the morning with their defined meanings and uplifting messages. Whereas the Rider-Waite cards are pretty much left up to my own interpretation, and since I’m almost always rushing in the morning before work, I don’t take enough time to understand the message in those cards.
Last week was no exception…waking up late, speedily walking and feeding the dogs, hurrying to finish getting ready for work, selecting crystals for the day and quickly pulling a card for a final boost before heading out the door. I was already behind on this routine when I grabbed the oracle cards.
As I started shuffling, I felt like I was going to burst into tears and said aloud, “I don’t want to keep living like this. Please, can you give me guidance…what steps can I take to change my life?” Mid-shuffle, a card fell from the deck…Have You Asked Your Angels for Help With This?
This card indicates that you have been going it alone, trying to single-handedly find answers and solutions. All the while, your angels hover nearby awaiting the moment when you give them the go-ahead signal so that they can help you. You drew this card because the angels want to assist you with this situation, but they can only do so if you give them permission. The angels are available to you right now – to answer your questions, give you guidance, and speed your manifestations.
Pardon my language, but holy shit! That really was what I needed to do! Because once I granted that permission, I immediately felt less stressed and more relaxed. The volume of my mouthy Ego voice turned down to 1 while my gentle Higher Self voice cranked up to 11!
I could no longer hear that belittling and whining bitch of an Ego prattle on about how I wasn’t good at anything. All I could hear was ME, praising ME… “You know, Teresa, there are a lot of things that you’re good at, but there’s this one thing in particular…you try to pass it off as ‘just a hobby,’ but the truth is you’ve wanted to do this professionally for decades. You’ve always known this is what you want to do…what you’re supposed to do. You are good enough to turn your dreams into reality!”
What?! Me, really believing in myself? Can’t recall the last time that happened! 😄
I knew this year would be full of changes…some that I would have control over and some that I’d have to buckle up and wear a life jacket for. Even though I knew I needed to release my fear so that I could advance a few spaces in the game of Life, I allowed myself to be too afraid to spin the wheel and let go of what I felt was safe. I skipped my turns and grumpily watched other players move along the game board toward their happy endings. That is, until I pulled that oracle card and granted permission.
There was no grand explosive display declaring THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WITH YOUR LIFE! It was more like…have you ever failed to come up with an answer to an “easy” question in the moment only to suddenly have the answer dawn on you out of the blue, even weeks later? That is exactly how it felt when I realized what my life’s purpose is.
I am incredibly excited about the direction I’m going now, and I hope you’ll forgive my vagueness about that direction. There’s a fair amount of planning and work I still need to do before it’s all properly in place. I want it to feel a little more polished and ready before I share it with the world. However, I don’t mind sharing the look on my face when the realization sank in! 😇
Remember your passion.
Follow your heart.
One of my favorite resources for angelic information and spiritual guidance is Melanie Beckler’s Ask-Angels.com website. If you’re looking for ways to ask your angels for help, I highly recommend her article 5 Ways to Ask For Help from Angels. “It’s not how you ask, it’s that you ask!”